hanya awak & kiter;

Friday, August 31, 2007

Will my birthday wish be granted?

You decide.

Dangerously missing 'D' in _ARKNESS

You solve.

Loving you gives me COURAGE.

Being loved by you gives me STRENGTH.

You think.

Please give me one more chance to prove my LOVE to you.

some have got their Aces but you've got the ROYAL FLUSH; Friday, August 31, 2007

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Him, Myself, Family, Studies

I have no idea on what to write. What should i post today?? Nothing great happened this week. Was busy with school etc. Prelims in two week's time. I am readily to say that i am not ready! I cant stay focus even in classroom. Ok, i can but i jut dont push it harder. I've been thinking for so many things inside my head. Him, Myself, Family, Studies.

It's hard to breathe without you by my side. I've inspired a love of faith inside you since we first met. I want us to be a part, never apart. I'm really missing you now. Please do give me a call at times when you are free. Dont you even have a bit sense of missing me?? I hope u do have. I was hoping to meet you. veryday, after school, i will stroll around the causeway point area to look for you. But never. Perhaps, it's fated that we shall not see each other again? You want it that way??

About myself. haish... Yes, he is my priority. Himself than me. For now, I will just focus on my studies. I need to prove that i can be better than anyone else. To my peeps out there (FUN & Dancers) i cant be seeing you guys often now. yarh... I really need to struggle for just this few months. A few words from me, to my friends(dancers), please do concentrate at this crucial time. Most of you guys are taking major examinations this year. Prioritise yourself. Prove to your parents and others who have been looking down upon dancers like us. Prove them that although we are busy reaching our passion of dancing like some of you especially Wawan, i can see that he really put in 100% in dance, we can still achieved in our academic excellence. Prove them wrong. I had experienced once where the public looking down upon us, the dancers. So, take that as challenge to prove yourself. This i just an advice from me. :)

My family. Better not to say.

Studies have been going on well. Now i need to focus on my Sciences and Humans. This are my targets for O'levels.

English - B4
E Maths - B3
C. Science - B4
Literature - B3
C. Humans - B3
Malay - A2 (achieved)
L1R4 - 15

Alright, this will be my last few posts before O'levels. Anything, contact me 94270789.

Sayyidi!!

*You are just someone special to me!*

dA'Ruth

Missing 'D' in _ARKNESS

some have got their Aces but you've got the ROYAL FLUSH; Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Is this what we call a family?

I just feel weird here in this new house! With this new aliens in my house, no not mine, theirs.. Why cant my own mother believe me? ? What did i do wrong? I admit that i've used to lie to you.. But not anymore.. When i first reach home, she straight away nag at me. Why cant it be like the other mothers asking if their children have eaten or not or how was the school just now. Wont that be better? To my classmates, i was with you guys rigth just now? I had my Maths test till 5 and need to go for detention because i was late. Argued with the Operation Manager in the morning... AARRGGHHHH... It was fucking day today! The OM took my ezlink and just went home leaving all the ezlinks locked inside a locker as if the DM had the keys to open it. Its true what my DM said, if the OM was the one confiscated our ezlinks, why should the DM the one must return it to us... I agree with eu Sir! Thanx for giving me money for my bus fare and it is not enough though. Back to the night study with you guys. I know we didnt do much just now becaue we were busy doing the jingles for teacher's day. But, i was with you guys right?? This is the dialogoue between me and my mum just now...

Convo 1

Mum: Asal balik lambat?
Me: Sekolah macam biaser.. ader night study..
Mum: Sekolah, belajar, sekolah , belajar... ntah btol ke tidak...
Me: 'expected'
Mum: Nanti besok gi kol Starhub pasal internet ni. tadi Abg Hairi(step bro) pasang tetap takbleh pakai.
Me: Asal tadi tak kol Starhub tros jer??
Mum: Asal plak, bende abang, abanglah yang kol.
Me: huh?! takbleh tolong ke kol kan abang??
Mum: Nak buat aper? kalau taknak kol, jgn pakai internet lagi..
Me: abeh tadi abg g skolah tak percaya larh?
Mum: memang tak percaya pun.. (sarcastic)

I cried in front of my mum n my step father. I cant control my tears. Cant they just help me to call the Starhub?? i'm their son. am i an outsider to them?? haish...

dA'Ruth

some have got their Aces but you've got the ROYAL FLUSH; Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Sunday, August 19, 2007

Still Waiting....

I am feeling sleepy right now but i just dont feel like sleeping. I cant close my eyes without 'having' you in me here. Just look, you are really a special one to me. I have never waited for someone this long besides Shahrul. Honestly I say, it must be possible for me if i were to keep waiting. And I will. I believe that when it is hard to get, it will be harder to lose.

You told me about someone else. You share your feelings bout him with me. I smiled, because i'm just happy to hear you talk. I cant stand it anymore to know about your feelings towards the others. How about me? The one waiting?? Do you think that i feel good to hear about your loe with others? I'm sure you wouldnt feel good too. I dont want to say this in front of you because i'm afraid that you will stop talking to me.

Sometimes i feel that i should just be thankful to still have you as a friend and not more than that. I always regard you more than a friend though. A special one indeed.

I know i always hurting your feelings by throwing sarcasms to you. A lot of them. Sometimes i am just making nuisance of myself. Creating problems, finding faults with you especially. Do you ever think why i did that? Did you ever realise why do you think i am acting like that? Being immature or childish?? If you realised it then its good. But if you dont, and if u want to know, I did all that nonsence because i want attention from you. Yes! Seeking attention from you!! I need you to know that i'm exist. Exist to love you!!

Haiiz.. I know i'm just being so emotional. Lolx. I dont know myself.

Till here... Love you "da gerl!"

Muackiesz!!

Kiter Sayang Awak!

dA'Ruth

some have got their Aces but you've got the ROYAL FLUSH; Sunday, August 19, 2007

Monday, August 13, 2007

some have got their Aces but you've got the ROYAL FLUSH; Monday, August 13, 2007

Today i just wanna start with sumthing serious...

Tahun ini adalah tahun yang agak sukar bagi diriku. Pelbagai masalah yang menimpa diriku. Terutama sekali keluargaku. Kadang0kala aku terfikir, memang benar jika orang mengatakan bahawa porak-peranda sesebuah rumahtangga akan meninggalkan kesan yang kurang baik kepada anak-anak. Pendek kata anak yang menjadi mangsa daripada pertelingkahan ibubapa. Terus terang, aku lebih rela melihat ibuku tidak bersama ayah lagi. Masing-masing kini sudah menjalani arah yang berlainan. Lebih baik daripada duduk serumah dengan berperangai hipokrit dan egoistik antara satu sama lain. Benci. Aku menyalahkan kedua-dua pihak. Memang payah untukku menerima ini semua tetapi aku yakin ini adalah pemberianNya untuk mendewasakan diriku sendiri. Bak kata guruku, aku ini dipilih untuk merasakan erti kehidupan dahulu daripada kawan-kawanku yang lain. Setelah bercerai, aku mengikut ibuku, juga dengan adikku. Kami tinggal di rumah 'L' di Jalan Kukoh dekat Outram Park. Alhamdulillah.. Walaupun tidak biasa duduk di rumah yang begitu kecil, aku tetap sudah biasa dengan ahli keluargaku sendiri.

Ramai yang lain boleh melihat aku bergembira. Aku sering bergurau dengan kawan-kawanku, Jarang sekali aku menangis di hadapan mereka. Adakah mereka tahu bahawa aku sedang mengalami masalah?? Aku bersyukur kerana tetap ada teman-temanku yang masih mengambil-berat tentang diriku. Terima Kasih aku ucapkan. Memang susah untuk mendapat seorang teman yang pandai menjaga perasaan dan memahami diriku ini. Untuk semua teman-temanku diluar, terutama sekali yang sering keluar bersama (FUN dll) , bertuah rasanya kerana mendapat rakan seperti kamu semua. Ada juga tempat untukku mengadu.

Kini, ibuku pun telah bernikah lagi. Walaupun tidak ditanya pendapatku atau izinku, aku tidak kesah. Aku gembira jika ini adalah yang terbaik untuk ibuku. Aku tahu ibuku sudah lama hidup merana. Cukup lah beban yang ditanggung selama ini. Dengan kata herdikan ahli keluarga sendiri. Tidak sanggup aku melihat ibuku merana lagi. Puas. Walaupun aku kadang-kala bersikap biadap terhadapnya, aku tetap sayangkan beliau. Keistimewaan ibuku terserlah kerana sikapnya yang tidak suka mengadu nasib kepada orang lain. Dia tidak mahu meminta simpati terhadap orang lain mahupun keluarga sendiri. Dia lebih rela berdiam diri dan menanggung bebannya seseorang kerana juga tidak mahu anak-anaknya diganggu.

Di hari pernikahan ibu kelmarin, Alhamdulillah berjalan lancar. Aku menangis bersendirian di dalam bilik. Tidak tahu mengapa. Aku harus gembira tetapi aku tersedu-sedu menangis. Sebenarnya aku masih rindukan ayah kandungku. Walaupun aku tahu mustahil, aku tetap berdoa agar mereka dapat berujuk semula. Aku akan berpuas hati apabila melihat ibuku gembira. Sudah cukup bagiku.

Seorang lagi yang main peranan dalam hidupku pada masa ini juga harusku berterima kasih. Aku yakin kau tidak pernah sedar bahawa kehadiran kau membawa riang dalam diriku. I'm just so touched because you are the first one to ask for my results in the morning! (i did cry anyways.) Yarh! corz its like so touching larh.. Its not my family but YOU!! Thanx alot! I really appreciate you! And, after i have gotten my results, you are the first one whom i called! Serious!! At least someone is waiting for my results. Not forgetting Yenny, Amin and Danny too... :))

I was waiting for my mom to call me but she did not. I was the one who called her bout my MT O'levels results. Haish.. Thats why, YOU were the first one to know bout my results!! Love YOU la gerl'!! hehekz... Alright, thinking of you makes me in a happy mood...

Wow, readers, i know i wrote in malay for the first few paragrahphs of my post. lolx.. Just feel like writing malay arh.. so yarh..

&& Congrats to all of my friends who scored Distinctions for Malay paper!! And the others who didnt manage to score As, dont give up.. U guys still have the chance to retake!!

&& YOU, I LOVE YOU!!!

some have got their Aces but you've got the ROYAL FLUSH; Monday, August 13, 2007

Saturday, August 11, 2007

National Day Celebration @ Junyuan

some have got their Aces but you've got the ROYAL FLUSH; Saturday, August 11, 2007

National Day Celebration @ Junyuan!

It was the best lar shey! lolx.. It was all like a real NDP! And i got to move around while everyone needs to stand in attention.. lolx.. I need to make a newspaper report on the celebration at my school.. I took photos.. lolx.. Even when the national anthem was sung.. And, now i know it os not really that easy to be a reporter or journalist. lolx.. I did interview some of the students and teachers, wrote what they said on my notebook and had a whole day messed up with that.. It was not that organise larh.. hehekz.. So i need to re-arrange all the points.. But its ok! I'm satisfied with my work so with Kak Yani.. Thanx alot! I still need to learn more about reporter!!

The Most TipsyNiesst Night at East Coast!!

I went out at around 730?After i have done my report and stuff quickly got changed. Took service no 197. IT WAS HELL!!! It was like a very damn long journey.. Somemore it was peak hour and public holiday eve. haiya!! That night was fun! Serious!! lolx.. Especially mast, stop it sia with that thang!! The joke i meant! And!! I got RAPED!! Jeng!!

Yenny: Never felt enough to 'bully' me! bluekz!! majok ar!

Shilla: Went to ECP with her 'minahly' VonDutch mini pink skirt!! lolx..

Fariz: U gone TIPSY first! Loser! lolx..

Ayul: Cant stop peeping people doing project!

Mast: "skrg die cakap mcm gini. kalo terbalek kan mcm maner ekh. ko kene tgk kat depan... lepas tu mesti habis. jangan takot boleh sambong." -stop it sia mas

Wawan: Touch down!! && thanx coz at last u got the motive right! lolx..

Daen: Shirt+3quarter track pants+exclusive tote bag+CAPAL!!! Ouh My GoD!! lolx..

Shaun: "Rapist" -I'm innocent larh!! hehekz...

NDP @ Marina Bay 2007

Correction,, NDP @ Marina Bay nyer belakang! lolx.. It was so pack larh! And stupid ang mohs & some Singaporeans got tricked by us! lolx.. Typical! hehekz.. After the 'amazing' fireworks, we went to sit at marina square ( 2 belon merah, 1 belon hijau ) lolx.. Then came one of the musical note, Yenny was annoyed! lolx.. bluekz!! Went back with yenny as usual took 51 && skali the rapist pun naek arh!! hehekz.. Yenny made me paiseh sia! or both of us?? How could eu ask him like that? i am actually dah malu tau!! hehekz.. Both of us were drunk and didnt know was were we doing k? oopPSs!!!

*I was thinking about you the whole day*

Miss eu larh Gerl!!*

-dA'Ruth

some have got their Aces but you've got the ROYAL FLUSH; Saturday, August 11, 2007

Sunday, August 5, 2007

HEY!! My blog is NEVER dead neither can it be buried k?!!! I was damn effing busy k people!! I have schools with lots of assignments and remedials. Then with the Bahas that was held yesterday. lolx.. I know all of eu readers miss me rite??? hehekz..

So let's start with Friday.. I had school till 1230 a susual and go for the friday prayers. YES! Friday Prayers!! hehekz.. then went back to school for Geography Remedial which ends at 5 sia!! lolx.. I quickly rush home coz need to go to Asyraf's Birthday Pit! hehekz.. I took bus no 196. REGRET!!! The bus was like effing long distance journey larh!! And that time when i board was at peak hour. Haish... It took me 2 hours to reach Marine Parade.

*&& Sesungguhnya Yenny didnt understand my text in the SMS.. lolx.. Nvm..*

Met all of them! YeahNesS!!! Miss all of them so much!! We had fun at Asyraf's birthday yarh! hehekz.. & Again, not forgetting our Barren! hehekz..Conclusion: Fariz & I won the Game!! hehekz.. Yenny, wawan and shilla takleh angkz lar!! weak ar lu!! hehekz...

I was suppose to go back b4 12 to finish up with my Bahas thingy, the powerp0int slides... But, JIWA nyer pasal ekh,, i stayed till morning.. Took cab with yenny n hakiim.. I was the last to alight! & the taxi driver was damn BENGAPZ!! haish.. Kek sim u noe! lolx...

Reached home at 530am. Straight away i switched on my comp and start with my work. i had only like 4 hours to complete. & yes, i need to do it thrice! Fcuk! Fcuk! Fcuk!!!! When i am almost done with the slides, my comp hung! And same goes with the second try.. I was like crying alone in front of the screen.. haish... Finally it was done at 9. i slept for only 30mins and bathe to get changed. Was very tired!! haish..

The bahas was OKAYLARH.. still got some cons larh.. Majlis Melayu marh... lolx.. I was like os nervous as i am the pengacara for the finals.. lolx.. After Bahas, planned to go to esplanade to watch fireworks. So we took 518 from tampines.. 1 hour journey sia.. pantat leh flat! lolx.. but eventually we did not alight at esplanade. Thanx to me! hehekz... sowie people!! Supposedly we alight at marina square. But then, i thought it stops directly infront of the DXO club.. *confident* hehekz... after the stop at marina square, the bus directly go towards ECP!!! THANX EKH!!! so we are just spending time in the bus rotting! lolx... but fun lah.. we end up at tampines again.. lolx... had our dinner at kfc. Then went home larh, i took MRT. & i thought yesterday was a bad luck for me. I took the train at tampines to city hall.. However, when i opened my eyes.. It was at BOON LAY!!!! FCUK!! So i was sleeping the whole time inside the train. And the most stupid of me was i went down the escalator and tap my ez-link. lolx.. stupid wasnt it? then i confirmed, yarh it was not a dream and yes i was at boon lay! lolx.. seriously i did that... Then i tap back to take the train larh.. lolx.. && yesterday i left my handphone at home. & i have got no watch too. So i donoe the time... I alight at outram and took cab from there. i reached hoem at around 1210am.. yarh.. I straight away sleep and just woke up just now at 130.. lolx..

Today, g0ing to support FUN again for their performance at woodlands!! hehekz.. C eu guys there!! bye!!

-dA'Ruth

missing someone badly

some have got their Aces but you've got the ROYAL FLUSH; Sunday, August 05, 2007